In the time passed... I have changed jobs, I have loved, I have been out of love.
I have faltered in the faith and still faltering. I have started school, I am halfway through school.
I have left communities, I have joined communities. I have changed my life's mission, I have neglected many parts of my life.
I have been selfish and self seeking, I have made use of people. I have
I have lusted for pleasure, I may have ruined a life.
Why am I becoming all that I have previously loathed? Why did I allow myself to succumb to that level?
How great the mighty has fallen!
Could it be because of my self-righteousness? Did I never knew what I seek right from the start? Was my faith, my religion a farce all along?
Jeremiah 29:11-14 says
"Yes, I know what plans I have in mind for you, Yahweh declares, plans for peace, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. When you call to me and come and pray to me, I shall listen to you. When you search for me, you will find me; when you search wholeheartedly for me, shall let you find me (Yahweh declares. I shall restore your fortunes and gather you in from all the nations and wherever I have driven you, Yahweh declares. I shall bring you back to the place from which I exiled you)."
I know that I need to resume seeking God in my daily life. But what is it that is holding me back? Why the procrastination? From all those years of service, have I not been convinced of God's mighty Hand in my life?
Why do I not want to seek You my Lord? What did I miss?
Bring me back O Lord, I need to be taken back... At Your Cross Lord, beckon me please. I beg You
Sinful... Sorrowful... Regretful...
